urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone The Recluse The Recluse 2005-03-31T22:37:17Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:3219 2005-03-31T22:37:17Z 2005-03-31T22:37:17Z I miss the Shelf<br />I miss Teddy and Brownie<br />I miss Asshole and 1000 Blank White Cards<br />I miss being able to drink in someone's backyard instead of at a bar<br />I miss there being a group of people who were united as Shelfers urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:3001 2003-11-07T22:26:13Z 2003-11-07T22:26:13Z Coldplay - Shiver (Accoustic) holidays suck the suck up. <br /><br />i have no money to get people gifts.<br /><br />it's cold in here and my parents are to cheap to turn the fucking heater on.<br /><br />i stayed home from school sick, bored out of my mind.<br /><br />blah blah blah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:2731 2003-09-26T08:06:05Z 2003-09-26T08:06:05Z a lil bit of ultimate fakebook before bed does a body good Guess who disappears for weeks and weeks. That's right, me. Well, if you guessed me. If not, then you are just silly. <br /><br />School has killed me. I hate teachers, I hate advisors, I hate parents. That's right, I'm in that kind of mood.<br /><br />I should be sleeping now, I wake up in a few hours. But I've missed all of my shelf friends so much, so whenever I see some of them online, I have to talk it up. Hopefully tomorrow night will be a shelf night. I haven't been there in so long, they never call me. And i know "there are no invites to the shelf." I know we are just supposed to come. I just wonder if they really want me around. Specially since I've tended to be the stupid lil drunk girl when I am there. I'll work on that.<br /><br />Well, night to all those online late at night like me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:2376 2003-07-24T17:28:24Z 2003-07-24T17:28:24Z cursive - the game of who needs who the worst so last night i ended up being totally late for the reggie show. but i caught enough of it to make my day. i couldnt find anyone though, so walking around by myself all night was sad. and to make the night painfully complete, i had to run into a bunch of my old so-called friends. yeah, go ahead and be polite to my face, i know the second i left the truth came out. i see the look in your eyes, you think im pathetic, you think i "need-help," well take a look in the fucking mirror. leaving that bitterness behind... i cant believe the shelf didnt happen after the show. i finally get a night out of this hell of a house, and it is unbelievably short. at least tonight is topless thursday, rad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:2272 2003-07-18T00:23:34Z 2003-07-18T00:25:48Z nothing is right,<br />everyone fucks with my mind.<br />i hate this life, <br />but still i play the roles.<br />what am i heading for,<br />what am i looking for in this game.<br />its all for losing.<br />i think it has all already been lost. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:2026 2003-07-15T09:01:20Z 2003-07-15T09:01:20Z under my skin lies<br />the black torn of an emotional drained heart<br />the sky turns to night <br />as my heart turns to dust.<br /><br />leave me in the dark night<br />my souless drained life.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><br />tonight i hung out with the shelf crew.<br />Russel P and I talked all night.<br />He seems like a pretty nice guy.<br />I think he is just trying to get into my pants.<br />hrm...... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:1566 2003-07-11T12:00:55Z 2003-07-11T12:00:55Z bright eyes-a song to pass the time i can't believe i'm still up.<br />i guess i've been home from the shelf since about 3ish.<br />i came home, had a bowl of cereal, and got online with the <br />hope of talking to someone, anyone really, but no one signed on.<br /><br />i really just wanted to let off some steam, to a listening ear.<br />i guess not tonight though.<br /><br />i hate keeping all of the feelings locked in,<br />i hate not knowing what to do. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:1315 2003-07-09T22:50:04Z 2003-07-09T22:50:04Z count the stars - what i'm looking for i want to go out to the lake and meet dani and them, but i need a ride. my fucking parents wont get me a car until i get a job, but how am i supposed to get a job if i cant drive to it. and it is the middle of the summer, it's too hot to be out there bullshitting. arizona sucks, it is too fucking hot to do anything. i cant wait till i am old enough to get out of here. im so bored. i hope tonight is a shelf night, i need a party, i need to get drunk. i wish they'd bring more new people over, all of the guys there are either taken or just friends...i need someone to get drunk and makeout with....im so bad. ;o) grrr...i miss sex, i dont miss that fucking asshole, but i miss the sex. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:1046 2003-07-06T23:42:46Z 2003-07-06T23:42:46Z postal service - this place is a prison i still need to make a user pic for this journal. i think im gonna paint my nails some pretty color, maybe watch a movie or something, and basically sit on my fat ass all day because i have no life. i dont want to talk to anyone today, i dont know why, i just dont feel like it. this weekend has been hell. ok, back to nothing once again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:847 2003-07-05T09:02:32Z 2003-07-05T09:02:32Z obviously the used you took it back <br />how could you go and do something like that<br />my fingernail phase<br />worst has got the best of you<br />i ask you and i know i need to change<br />you took it back<br />you ripped my heart out of my then you put it back<br />i'm pulling my hair<br />i let you just a million times<br />i love you evenb though it isnt fair<br /><br />change<br />run we go around again in circles<br />play this game over again urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:620 2003-07-04T07:58:01Z 2003-07-04T07:58:01Z the all-american rejects this party needs to get going. so maybe i'll liven things up. a couple more drinks and i'll be good to goooo. ya, party. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:i_wake_alone:328 2003-07-03T08:44:14Z 2003-07-03T08:49:19Z cursive - the recluse i just created a new journal. i was tired of using my old name. fuck all that stupid history, and fuck you all for tormenting me. my new friends are so cool. the shelf is the shit. i can't wait for topless thursday.