I Hardly Know [entries|friends|calendar] The Recluse [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(4 shoo flys | don't bother me) [31 Mar 2005|02:31pm] I miss the Shelf I miss Teddy and Brownie I miss Asshole and 1000 Blank White Cards I miss being able to drink in someone's backyard instead of at a bar I miss there being a group of people who were united as Shelfers

(1 shoo fly | don't bother me) to this day [07 Nov 2003|02:19pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | Coldplay - Shiver (Accoustic) ] holidays suck the suck up. i have no money to get people gifts. it's cold in here and my parents are to cheap to turn the fucking heater on. i stayed home from school sick, bored out of my mind. blah blah blah.

(2 shoo flys | don't bother me) sending love and kisses to anyone that will take em [26 Sep 2003|12:57am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | a lil bit of ultimate fakebook before bed does a body good ] Guess who disappears for weeks and weeks. That's right, me. Well, if you guessed me. If not, then you are just silly. School has killed me. I hate teachers, I hate advisors, I hate parents. That's right, I'm in that kind of mood. I should be sleeping now, I wake up in a few hours. But I've missed all of my shelf friends so much, so whenever I see some of them online, I have to talk it up. Hopefully tomorrow night will be a shelf night. I haven't been there in so long, they never call me. And i know "there are no invites to the shelf." I know we are just supposed to come. I just wonder if they really want me around. Specially since I've tended to be the stupid lil drunk girl when I am there. I'll work on that. Well, night to all those online late at night like me.

(1 shoo fly | don't bother me) time to make the donuts [24 Jul 2003|10:14am] [ mood | i sooo should be sleeping ] [ music | cursive - the game of who needs who the worst ] so last night i ended up being totally late for the reggie show. but i caught enough of it to make my day. i couldnt find anyone though, so walking around by myself all night was sad. and to make the night painfully complete, i had to run into a bunch of my old so-called friends. yeah, go ahead and be polite to my face, i know the second i left the truth came out. i see the look in your eyes, you think im pathetic, you think i "need-help," well take a look in the fucking mirror. leaving that bitterness behind... i cant believe the shelf didnt happen after the show. i finally get a night out of this hell of a house, and it is unbelievably short. at least tonight is topless thursday, rad.

(don't bother me) blank stares [17 Jul 2003|05:19pm] [ mood | if i had a soul i'd be crying ] nothing is right, everyone fucks with my mind. i hate this life, but still i play the roles. what am i heading for, what am i looking for in this game. its all for losing. i think it has all already been lost.

(2 shoo flys | don't bother me) the darkness of black nights [15 Jul 2003|01:53am] [ mood | horny ] under my skin lies the black torn of an emotional drained heart the sky turns to night as my heart turns to dust. leave me in the dark night my souless drained life. ----------------------------------------- tonight i hung out with the shelf crew. Russel P and I talked all night. He seems like a pretty nice guy. I think he is just trying to get into my pants. hrm......

(don't bother me) as dani would say "bah" [11 Jul 2003|04:55am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | bright eyes-a song to pass the time ] i can't believe i'm still up. i guess i've been home from the shelf since about 3ish. i came home, had a bowl of cereal, and got online with the hope of talking to someone, anyone really, but no one signed on. i really just wanted to let off some steam, to a listening ear. i guess not tonight though. i hate keeping all of the feelings locked in, i hate not knowing what to do.

(2 shoo flys | don't bother me) im always so cold, i think im getting sick [09 Jul 2003|03:06pm] [ mood | restless ] [ music | count the stars - what i'm looking for ] i want to go out to the lake and meet dani and them, but i need a ride. my fucking parents wont get me a car until i get a job, but how am i supposed to get a job if i cant drive to it. and it is the middle of the summer, it's too hot to be out there bullshitting. arizona sucks, it is too fucking hot to do anything. i cant wait till i am old enough to get out of here. im so bored. i hope tonight is a shelf night, i need a party, i need to get drunk. i wish they'd bring more new people over, all of the guys there are either taken or just friends...i need someone to get drunk and makeout with....im so bad. ;o) grrr...i miss sex, i dont miss that fucking asshole, but i miss the sex.

(1 shoo fly | don't bother me) idle hands [06 Jul 2003|04:02pm] [ mood | hiding in my room ] [ music | postal service - this place is a prison ] i still need to make a user pic for this journal. i think im gonna paint my nails some pretty color, maybe watch a movie or something, and basically sit on my fat ass all day because i have no life. i dont want to talk to anyone today, i dont know why, i just dont feel like it. this weekend has been hell. ok, back to nothing once again.

(7 shoo flys | don't bother me) its always fucking greener isnt it [05 Jul 2003|01:55am] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | obviously the used ] you took it back how could you go and do something like that my fingernail phase worst has got the best of you i ask you and i know i need to change you took it back you ripped my heart out of my then you put it back i'm pulling my hair i let you just a million times i love you evenb though it isnt fair change run we go around again in circles play this game over again

(don't bother me) p.s. the top is coming off [04 Jul 2003|12:50am] [ mood | i hate my mind, love my body ] [ music | the all-american rejects ] this party needs to get going. so maybe i'll liven things up. a couple more drinks and i'll be good to goooo. ya, party.

(2 shoo flys | don't bother me) my new journal [03 Jul 2003|01:43am] [ mood | quixotic ] [ music | cursive - the recluse ] i just created a new journal. i was tired of using my old name. fuck all that stupid history, and fuck you all for tormenting me. my new friends are so cool. the shelf is the shit. i can't wait for topless thursday.

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